Searching for Peace of Mind : A Personal Journey

Hi! Seems like your pursuit is similar to mine. Because, you too are searching for peace of mind .

In my case, it started with a dream.

The dream of living a beautiful life. The only problem was that I didn’t know what constituted a beautiful life. I was never prepared for it. I am still not prepared for it.

I was never searching for peace. I wanted recognition and fame. I got them. And as it always happens, it was short lived.

At one point of time, I used to believe that I was a superior human being. Now, I think that I am below average. See, what happens when you lose it. You start doubting everything.

It wasn’t like this earlier. I used to think myself invincible and immortal. I used to think that I am special. And was overwhelmed with the opportunities life offered. I wanted all of it.

I ended up having none.

My search for peace of mind & the imbalance between wants and needs.

More than a decade ago, I wanted a good job. I got one.

At that point of time; a job was my want as well as my need.

Now the job is my need but it’s not what I want.

So what’s my need now?

It’s peace of mind.

Human mind is clever in associating things. In my case it has associated peace with absence of job. In other words, the presence of job is synonymous to absence of peace.

You can’t have peace if you don’t have money

I don’t want to be a millionaire. I just want good enough to provide for my family. You see, I am not a businessman. I am just an ordinary guy who blogs.

I work in shifts in a steel plant. My daughter hates it when I have to go for night shifts. I hate it too, but that’s what provides for my family.

Now, it seems that I have got used to this hatred. I know that I hate it & I can’t do anything about it. So, I have started ignoring the hatred.

At a subconscious level I feel that it’s my job that is keep my away from my dream life.

Right now, for me  – a dream life is a jobless life.

However, in this jobless life, I should be getting enough money to provide for my family. See, it looks like a dream already.

I know what I have to do, but I can’t

It’s no point working for a job that makes your life miserable. Nevertheless, I have chosen to stay in my current job. Why? Because I know that I don’t have any other means to provide for my family.

I have a blog, but that makes one-tenth of what my current employer is paying me. I can manage it, even if it makes one-fourth. But, at one-tenth it’s just unthinkable.

Quitting my job is not only the greatest desire of my life right now. It’s my greatest want and greatest need. But, I don’t know how to go about it.

I am not scared of life but I don’t wan to take an illogical step

I would have quit my job long ago, if I didn’t have a family. But with a family right now, I don’t want my family suffer for my impulsiveness.

I know that I can’t have peace if my family remains in turmoil. After all it’s hard to remain calm in an empty stomach.

But haven’t we read it that peace if often preceded by turmoil.

If you are used to the comfort zone, then it’s hard to find peace. The problem with most of us is that we have got used to the comfort zone. And we are scared of getting out of this zone.

We know how to bear the pain in this zone. But we don’t know anything about the stuff that shows up once you get out of it.

There could be limitless possibilities if you step out of your comfort zone, but you choose to bear the pain of your comfort zone. Why? Because you are scared of the uncertainties.

But, didn’t I say in the beginning that I am not scared?

Well! I lied. Everyone lies. I am no different. I’ve mentioned it earlier – I am just an ordinary guy who blogs.

What if your comfort zone is making it impossible for you to think right

You can’t quit your current job if you don’t have another source of income lined up – That’s the conventional wisdom if have read, heard and believed. Until now.

Over the years, I have tried several online ventures.


But I couldn’t work on any of these long enough. I wanted to see quick results. I wanted the sites to replace my salary as soon as possible. But that did not happen.

For example, was the first site that made money. I monetized it with Adsense. But the income was too less. I lost patience and moved on another venture.

The next venture was It made money as well. But the income was less. So, I lost patience again and moved on to another venture.

The next venture was And the vicious cycle repeated.

My ventures made money, but I couldn’t work on them long enough.

I read a lot of books and sites and found that the problem lied in me. I needed to change my nature. I needed to be more patient. I needed to believe in my projects.

But you know what? I learned a very important lesson.

It’s not always your mistake.

I couldn’t hold on to my projects long enough. I admit that’s my mistake.

But why it happened? Why wasn’t I able to work on them long enough? Why I became impatient on gave up on them? Why was I in such a hurry to jump over to start a new venture that promised to replace my salary? Why every other idea seemed golden?

You can’t have patience when you’re made to sit on a heater.

A man in distress wants to believe in each and every opportunity he is presented. He wants to end the pain no matter what it costs. He thinks that what he is doing is right, even if it’s a pure blunder. He tries on thing and he fails. He tries and he fails again. Then he tries again and he fails again. But he never loses hope. He still believes that he can make it. He still hopes that his dreams will come true.

Such a man is not a lunatic. He is magnificent. The only problem is that he is working hard in the wrong environment.

Change the environment and he will slide the tectonic plates, under your feet.

Man is an intelligent animal. All his strength lies in his intelligence. Take away his intelligence and he can’t decide what’s good for himself.

A highly stressful environment takes away man’s ability to think properly. It steals his patience. It makes him scared. And the longer he remains in this cage, the closer he comes to becoming an animal.

Breaking out of a toxic environment needs extraordinary effort. It needs perseverance and dedication. It needs extreme discipline. It’s a combination of a lot of things which only a stable and calm mind can achieve. And you can’t have a calm mind in an extremely toxic environment.

Achieving success in any venture needs tremendous focus. And, to focus you need clear vision. And for getting this clear vision, you need to quarantine yourself from this toxic environment.

It’s not logical. It’s irrational pessimism.

Am I going to die, if I quit my job?


Is my family going to starve, if I quit my job?

No way.

Will I able to get a new job, if nothing works out?

Yes. Of course.

Then what is stopping me from quitting this job?

I don’t have enough money for fall back upon.

How much money do you need?

I need at least a year’s worth of cushion money.

No. You don’t need that much money. You’re not going for a one year vacation. Six months should be enough for your new venture to bear fruits.

So what should I do now?

You should save just enough to survive without a job for the next six months & then quit it.

Fear not about what will happen to you. Fear about what you’re doing to yourself.

The scariest thoughts are inside your mind. You’re sabotaging your growth by exaggerating the consequences of getting out of the comfort zone.

Do you know what’s the worst that can happen?

It’s getting trapped in the toxic environment forever.

And that’s what will happen if you do not step out of your, so called, comfort zone.

I have dedicated the last 10 years of my life in pursuit of pain. Now, it’s my time to dedicate at least 6 months to pursue peace of mind.

Maybe you realize that all your fears were unfounded

What if you take a leap of faith and discover the things to be entirely different from what you had anticipated.

What if you realize that not taking this leap earlier was the biggest mistake you ever made.

Maybe the road to peace will not be easy, but there will still be joy in the pursuit.

Please share if you liked the stuff.

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