This is how I destroyed my happiness

It is not supposed to be the way I always imagined it. It is supposed to be the way it is. And I am supposed to accept it and adapt to it. I wish I understood it quite earlier in life.

A lot of things happened in my life that were supposed to bring me happiness, but they didn’t, because they did not happen the way I imagined them to happen. It seems my happiness never depended upon the outcome of a result. It depended upon the extent to which this outcome matched my preconceived imagination.

Why am I like this? Am I the only one or there are others as well. One thing is for sure. I can’t be the only one, because I know that I am not that special. So, this means that there are many like me. And maybe this post will be bring them some solace.

Life happens to us moment by moment. Each of these moments is a surprise. Sometimes these moments shock us and sometimes they do indeed surprise us. However, I have noticed one thing – all these moments change us and this change depends on us.

I have also discovered that most of times it was not the situation that caused me pain. It was my perception of the situation that tortured me. It was the way I look at those circumstances that made me feel the way I did.

I also learnt that none of the situations were bigger than me. There was not a single situation, I couldn’t have handled.

After all these years I have learnt a few things about moments and events that I would like to share with you:

  • The situation is not bad. It is your perception of the situation that makes it good or bad.
  • The best opportunities lie in the worst situations.
  • Feeling bad never solves the problem.
  • Keep cool and you can come out of the worst scenarios.
  • Circumstances change you for the worse, if you avoid them and for the better if you face them.
  • Blaming never helps.
  • Taking responsibility and working towards a solution always helps.
  • Misbehaving with others during hard situations will make you feel ashamed later on.

So, what do I do these days when I face a situation I did not imagine?

I accept and and adapt to it.

If I wanted to take a flight to reach a place but somehow ended up taking a train, I accept it and adapt to it. I now understand that it doesn’t always have to be the way I imagined it.

I have understood that I must find happiness in things the way they have happened.

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